He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Who died my cat blue again?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
