just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
