All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
