I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
