just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
