he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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