Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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