no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
