STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
