Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This is classic penis vs brain.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
