I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
