I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
