Ambien. No doubt about it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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