There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
