I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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