I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
