Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
