So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
