I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
