I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
