yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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