I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
