i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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