By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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