Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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