You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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