New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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