I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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