We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
