need another drink. this is the easiest way
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize