It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
