I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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