I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
