I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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