I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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