I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
