I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
