You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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