Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
