I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's the barista slut.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize