yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
