I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
