I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
