well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
