The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
