Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
