hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
