haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
id be glad to
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Holy shit dude........stairs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
