I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
