its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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